Kirkepiscatoid

Random and not so random musings from a 5th generation NE Missourian who became a 1st generation Episcopalian. Let the good times roll!



(Photo of wild geese in flight at sunset courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

(Originally written for Daily Episcopalian, February 8, 2012)

May God the Father bless you, God the Son heal you, God 
the Holy Spirit give you strength.  May God the holy and 
undivided Trinity guard your body, save your soul, and 
bring you safely to his heavenly country; where he lives and 
reigns for ever and ever.  Amen.

--Blessing for Health and Body of Soul, Book of Common Prayer, p. 460 


One of the lifelong oddities of my life has been my penchant for stumbling into the middle of "other peoples' crises" and suddenly being their "go-to girl."  (In fact, just now, as I am drafting this reflection, I just got a text message from a friend who wants to talk to me about her dog's emergency surgery.  Seems her dog has been eating roofing nails and other metal debris...I rest my case.)

Not long ago, all I did was show up at one of my "country hospitals" for my regularly scheduled visit, which is normally a rather staid and boring half hour or so of signing my name on the various pieces of lab quality control data, and visiting with the laboratory supervisor over coffee about issues in the hospital lab.  I knew it wasn't going to be one of those visits when the laboratory supervisor met me in the hallway, hugging me and crying.


The short version was this:  One of the employees in the lab had, three days prior, been handed a very serious diagnosis which required immediate treatment if there was any hope of survival.  Rather than initiate treatment, he had chosen to return to his home country for treatment--an 18 hour total flight time and probably more like a little over a day's journey, total, and the flight did not leave for another day--putting about five days total between the moment of his diagnosis and his potential arrival home.  My supervisor's plea was to "talk some sense into him."


Believe me, I related every single medical reason I could think of--most of them involving the various permutations of how he could die in his untreated state in a five day span--as well as difficulties entering and exiting the various countries en route, the fact that his choices potentially affected the lives of others on the trip, and for the final push, that he could be "too ill to treat" when he arrived, possibly delaying life-saving treatment and putting him further at risk.  But he would hear none of it.  He was going home and that was that.

All of us have times in our lives where despite our best efforts, our good intentions, and our fears for those we love, they will make their choices and we are left with no other tasks but to let them go, and "pray them home."  I realized I had tried my best, and did what I could.  As I left to go back to my office, I told him, "God be with you.  I mean that."


Over the next several hours, my mind kept being drawn to the prayer cited above.  I have found when I am out of words, or my words seem insufficient, our Book of Common Prayer has words enough for me in my times of inarticulate-ness.  But as I read it, I started wondering, "Who was I asking to be blessed?  Him, or me?"  I recognized the answer probably was, "both," and everyone else who was fearing for him on his journey.  I then enlisted the help of other friends as co-pray-ers.  I've come to realize that co-praying is key to our spiritual health.  Let me make it clear that I don't sign on to the notion that sheer numbers of pray-ers have any influence on God, whatsoever--but I do believe they have influence on us and our own faithfulness in prayer.  It's easier for me to focus on my own prayers when I can see others praying with me, in my mind's eye.


As time unfolded, so did an image in my mind's eye--the image of a flock of geese, traveling thousands of miles, called by voices in nature that our human brains have somehow become blunted in their recognition.  I thought about how every goose in a "V" of geese flies along without question, trusting only in the sense of the lead goose, and with the only view of the trip being the rear end of the goose directly ahead of it.  Our gravely ill traveler was responding to the same kind of pull that the lead goose is called to obey, and I was simply a goose in the formation, staring at the tail feathers of the goose ahead of me, irritated I could not see a Google Maps overview of this trip.  I had started this journey thinking I was supposed to play the role of lead goose, and in reality my role was just "one of the flock."


Our lead goose in this story did, indeed, find his way home.  I may or may not ever learn the ultimate outcome with his diagnosis--but I have to let that one go, too.  I imagine geese don't always take the trip North or South with the same flock, and have one-time companions on the trip, from year to year, as well as familiar ones.  Such is the nature of pilgrimage.


When we embark on pilgrimages of prayer, we are being invited into an intimate space within "the cloud of unknowing."  We fly in formation with familiar faces, new faces, one-time faces, and faces we will never know in this world.  We are powerless, not only to the outcome, but to the choices of companions--flocks of geese flying to a home we've never seen.  To never be bold enough to fly at all, I believe, is the greater loss.


(Elevators at the Empire State Building courtesy of Wikimedia Commons)

Recently, The Lead asked loyal Episcopalian leaders, "What's your elevator speech?"

"Elevator speech" is roughly defined as a statement that distills your organization down to statements the length of what would fit on an elevator ride.


I was a little disappointed that the comments I've seen, both initially in the article, and around the Internet were...well...longer than an elevator speech.


Here's mine about the Episcopal church:  

"I was away from organized religion for over 20 years.  I thought I'd never go back to church in a million years...but when I found the Episcopal Church I found a place that God knew I could call 'home'."

What's yours?



(Illustration of the crucifixion of the 26 Martyrs of Japan, Nagasaki, Feb. 5, 1597, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons)

(Originally written for Speaking to the Soul, Feb. 6, 2011) 


Readings for the Feast Day of the Martyrs of Japan, Feb. 6:


Psalm 16:5-11
Lamentations 3:46-48, 52-59
Galatians 2:19-20
Mark 8:34-38


The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; 
you hold my lot. 

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; 
I have a goodly heritage. 

I bless the LORD who gives me counsel; 
 in the night also my heart instructs me. 

I keep the LORD always before me; 
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. 

Therefore my heart is glad, and my soul rejoices; 
my body also rests secure. 

For you do not give me up to Sheol, 
or let your faithful one see the Pit. 

You show me the path of life. 
In your presence there is fullness of joy; 
in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.




--Psalm 16:5-11 (NRSV)



It's absolutely horrifying to think that the story of the 26 Martyrs of Japan represents the focal point of the annihilation of a Christian community that, at least numbered 300,000 (some scholars estimate it up to just under one million.) However, the more fascinating part of this story, to me, is "the rest of the story"--when the underground remnants of this community were re-discovered by Fr. Bernard-Thadeé Petitjean on March 17, 1865.  (Actually, the covert Christians introduced themselves to Fr. Petitjean--but only after he and other missionaries had passed certain tests posed by the Japanese Christians, to confirm that these visitors, were, indeed, Christians themselves.)


For roughly two hundred and fifty years, the remnant of the original Japanese Christians, and approximately seven successive generations of their descendants had managed to keep the Christian faith alive, and relatively intact.  Although a few documents and relics had been passed down, most of the faithful carried the tenets of their faith orally through snippets of remaining documents and the creation of the Tenchi hajimari no koto, a sacred book they created themselves that had an amalgam of Bible stories, elements of the Catechism of the Roman Catholic Church, and Japanese folk tales.  Many of them committed much of this to memory.


Another clever feature of their survival was that they had split among the community various sacramental duties that normally would have been under the scope of a single priest.  They understood the Roman Catholic rubrics for emergency baptism and penitential rites in the absence of a priest, and divided these duties up among the community.  Other duties overlapped among community members, such as the keeping of the liturgical calendar, the prayers and liturgies known as the orashiyo (from the Latin Oratio) and preserving various relics.  Rather than worship as a large group, they created numerous roughly five-household cells, which interconnected to larger confraternaties or sodalities, that interconnected with each other.


But perhaps the most ingenious practice of these crypto-Christians was their creation of everyday objects indistinguishable to the eye from Buddhist tradition that were actually Christian objects of veneration.  One example is a statue known as the Mariya Kannon.  To the untrained eye, it appeared to be a female Buddha embracing a child--but to the faithful it was obviously the Blessed Virgin Mary and the young Jesus.


Although there were gaps in their understanding of some Sacraments (namely ordination and confirmation, since they required a bishop,) they still transmitted the knowledge of several Sacraments (particularly baptism) with amazing fidelity.  When questioned by the missionaries upon their return in 1865, one woman remarked, "We celebrate the feast of our Lord Jesus on the 25th day of the month of frost.  We have been told that on that day, about midnight, our Lord was born in a stable, that he grew up in poverty and suffering, and at the age of 33 he died for the salvation of our souls on the cross.  Now we have the season of sorrow.  Do you also have these celebrations?"  (Fr. Petitjean remarked in his writings that, indeed, they were in the season of Lent at the time this story was told.)


It staggers the mind to see the complexity and detail these hidden Christians kept intact for seven generations.  They re-wrote a rudimentary form of the Bible mostly from memory.  They baptized their descendants.  They created hidden objects of worship.  They did what had to be done to keep the church alive--because their Christian faith meant that much to them.  I doubt anyone would argue that even with their mistakes, gaps, and merging of Japanese folk tales into the tales of the Hebrew people, that these people were undoubtedly Christian.


As we remember not only these 26 brave martyrs, but the seven generations of crypto-Christians that carried on their legacy, let's participate in an imaginative spiritual exercise.  If space aliens came tomorrow and began to wipe Christianity from the face of the earth, what would we believe were the most key aspects of our faith that we would be bound and determined to preserve?  How would we disguise it?  What pieces of our liturgy can you regurgitate from memory? What are the stories in the Bible that matter most to you?  Perhaps those are exactly the features we should be displaying to younger generations that are struggling to decide if the church--and God--has any relevance to their lives.


(Antique set of autopsy instruments courtesy of Wikimedia Commons)

(Originally written for Speaking to the Soul, Sunday, February 5, 2012)

Readings for Sunday, February 5, 2012:

Psalms 93, 96 (Morning)
Psalm 34 (Evening)
Genesis 24:50-67
2 Timothy 2:14-21
Mark 10:13-22


Remind them of this, and warn them before God that they are to avoid wrangling over words, which does no good but only ruins those who are listening. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved by him, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly explaining the word of truth. Avoid profane chatter, for it will lead people into more and more impiety, and their talk will spread like gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, who have swerved from the truth by claiming that the resurrection has already taken place. They are upsetting the faith of some.
But God’s firm foundation stands, bearing this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Let everyone who calls on the name of the Lord turn away from wickedness.” In a large house there are utensils not only of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for special use, some for ordinary. All who cleanse themselves of the things I have mentioned will become special utensils, dedicated and useful to the owner of the house, ready for every good work.



--2 Timothy 2:14-21 (NRSV)


"Special utensils" have always been one of the small joys of my life, whether they are commercially made, fashioned by my imagination, or invented by others in my life.


To understand my penchant for gizmos and special tools, you have to remember I grew up with the infamous Ron Popeil commercials blaring on the TV as a child--the Super Veg-O-Matic (It slices!  It dices!  It chops!  It makes julienne fries!), the Cap Snaffler (Snaffles caps off any size jug, bottle or jar!), and Mr. Microphone ("Hey good lookin', I'll be back to pick you up later!"), just to name a few.  (Okay, so I admit I thought Ron lost it, though, with that spray-on hair, GLH-9.)


So, as you can imagine, it wasn't that hard for me to sign on to the concept of being fashioned into a special utensil for use in the service of God.


However, as those old Ron Popeil commercials used to say, "But wait!  There's more!"


As we start looking over how these special utensils are made, we are cautioned in this Epistle to "avoid wrangling over words."


Unfortunately, when it comes to our faith, it seems the words we most wrangle over are the words of the Bible.  At last count, over 450 versions of the Bible translated into English are available to the modern reader.  It's a safe bet that there are at least 450 theological opinions as to the meaning of any significant passage from the Bible in one version alone.  We can't even agree as Christians on the meaning of words like "salvation," or "grace," let alone hot-button issues such as our understanding of sexuality in the Bible as it pertains to same-sex relationships.  As Marcus Borg says in the introduction to his book, Speaking Christian, "Christian language has become a stumbling block in its time.  Much of its basic vocabulary is seriously misunderstood by Christians and non-Christians alike."


The end result is exactly what we see in our reading--it not only does no good but it ruins those who are listening.  We have an increasing number of people in this country who would rather choose no religion--the group of people that Elizabeth Dreschler describes in her book, "Tweet if you Heart Jesus" as The Religious Nones.  I suspect much of it is because they are, frankly, tired of watching the faithful wrangle over words.  They're tired of having so-called Christian words used as knives to stab and slash at their innermost parts.  They're tired of watching us filet each other with them and shred each other apart like julienne fries flying through the blades of a Super Veg-O-Matic.


Of far more importance is how these words transform us, rather than argue with each other over their meaning.  When we look inward, and really sit quietly with God on this one while reading the words in the Bible, we are very likely to be shown those places where our impious words are stumbling blocks to ourselves.  If they are stumbling blocks to ourselves, they are liable to be stumbling blocks in our interactions with others.  The nuances of Biblical translation pale in comparison to the positive changes others see in us when we actually live the words rather than fight with each other about them.  When we allow ourselves to be transformed by the words of the Bible, more useful stories emerge--stories of how we are changed as a result of following at least a few of the words of Jesus.


Rather than feel a need to be superior and "right" about the words in the Bible, what would happen if we reflected more on their potential to change us?  As the old commercials used to say, "Operators are standing by for your call."


(Photo along the MoPac Trail, between Walton, Nebraska, and Eagle, Nebraska, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons)

(Originally written for Speaking to the Soul, January 30, 2012) 


Readings for January 30, 2012:
Psalms 56, 57 (58) (Morning)
Psalm 64, 65 (Evening)
Genesis 19:1-17, (18-23), 24-29
Hebrews 11:1-12
John 6:27-40

When morning dawned, the angels urged Lot, saying, “Get up, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or else you will be consumed in the punishment of the city.” But he lingered; so the men seized him and his wife and his two daughters by the hand, the Lord being merciful to him, and they brought him out and left him outside the city. When they had brought them outside, they said, “Flee for your life; do not look back or stop anywhere in the Plain; flee to the hills, or else you will be consumed.” And Lot said to them, “Oh, no, my lords; your servant has found favor with you, and you have shown me great kindness in saving my life; but I cannot flee to the hills, for fear the disaster will overtake me and I die. Look, that city is near enough to flee to, and it is a little one. Let me escape there—is it not a little one? —and my life will be saved!” He said to him, “Very well, I grant you this favor too, and will not overthrow the city of which you have spoken. Hurry, escape there, for I can do nothing until you arrive there.” Therefore the city was called Zoar. The sun had risen on the earth when Lot came to Zoar.


Then the Lord rained on Sodom and Gomorrah sulfur and fire from the Lord out of heaven; and he overthrew those cities, and all the Plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and what grew on the ground.


But Lot’s wife, behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.
Abraham went early in the morning to the place where he had stood before the Lord; and he looked down toward Sodom and Gomorrah and toward all the land of the Plain and saw the smoke of the land going up like the smoke of a furnace. So it was that, when God destroyed the cities of the Plain, God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when he overthrew the cities in which Lot had settled.



--Genesis 19:15-29 (NRSV)


In the Sodom and Gomorrah story, Lot manages to eke out one last-minute deal with the angels--to spare the city of Zoar from impending destruction and allow him and his family to take refuge there.  Of particular interest is the name of the town itself--Zoar--literally, in Hebrew, "insignificant." Out of the five cities on the plain of what is now Jordan, the most insignificant one was spared.


Those of us who grew up or live in small town America are pretty well acquainted with the meaning of "an insignificant town."  In fact, we often brag in the most colorful phraseology we can think of to tell others how small our town is, such as, "My town's so small, we have the "Welcome to" and the "You are now leaving" signs on the same signpost."  We call it "a wide spot in the road," or say the sum total of the town is a gas station and a tavern.  My all time favorite is the one used by a friend of mine who grew up in a little town in the southeast Missouri bootheel--"My home town?  Two stores, two whores, and a cotton gin."


Well, my guess is Zoar, in comparison to the other four cities, was about that speed--except the cotton gin hadn't been invented yet.  Excepting, of course, the unfortunate demise of Lot's wife, the salvation of Lot's family was destined to be in an insignificant place.

Our human judgmental tendency is to always belittle the smaller of the two.  People in St. Louis make fun of Kirksville, people in Kirksville make fun of Macon, and people in Macon make fun of people in Bevier.  Most of us from small towns, when we hear the line in John 1:46 of "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" we are usually mentally plugging in the name of our small town.


However, as we study the Bible, we discover God makes fairly good use of insignificant places, right down to using an insignificant place for the birth of the Savior.  By all accounts, Bethlehem was somewhere between a berg and a shtetl on the significance scale, and Nazareth wasn't much better. But as it turns out, in the upside down world of God's Economic Scale, bigger is almost never better.  

Instead, God works mystery in the world of insignificance--a dazzling alchemy, indeed, and it calls us to look at the insignificant places in our lives with a new wonder and a new awe if we are willing to accept, as John Calvin called it, "a teachable spirit."  From the Lot story we learn that too much longing for the big significant things in life will petrify us as surely as Lot's wife was stiffened into a pillar of salt, and our salvation rests in not just journeying to, but fleeing to the insignificant places.


Maybe it's best summed up by Arundhati Roy, in "The God of Small Things:"  “Perhaps it's true that things can change in a day. That a few dozen hours can affect the outcome of whole lifetimes. And that when they do, those few dozen hours, like the salvaged remains of a burned house---the charred clock, the singed photograph, the scorched furniture---must be resurrected from the ruins and examined. Preserved. Accounted for. Little events, ordinary things, smashed and reconstituted. Imbued with new meaning. Suddenly they become the bleached bones of a story.”

Where are the insignificant places where you've fled, that became the skeletal frame of who you find yourself becoming, as a fully-fleshed out child of God?



(Andrei Rublev icon of the three angels being hosted by Abraham, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons)

(Originally written for Speaking to the Soul, Sunday, January 29, 2012) 


Readings for the feast day of Andrei Rublev, Monk and Iconographer, January 29:


Psalm 62:6-9
Genesis 28:10-17
2 Corinthians 2:14-17
Matthew 6:19-23


Genesis 28:10-17 (NRSV): 

Jacob left Beer-sheba and went toward Haran. He came to a certain place and stayed there for the night, because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of the place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place. And he dreamed that there was a ladder set up on the earth, the top of it reaching to heaven; and the angels of God were ascending and descending on it. And the Lord stood beside him and said, “I am the Lord, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac; the land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring; and your offspring shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south; and all the families of the earth shall be blessed in you and in your offspring. Know that I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Then Jacob woke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place—and I did not know it!” And he was afraid, and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.”


Just as Jacob saw a window into Heaven and a means to provide a means for a flow of traffic between the realm of God and the realm of humanity via "Jacob's Ladder," Andrei Rublev devoted his life to creating a ladder between those two realms via iconography.  His process for writing icons is outlined in Holy Women, Holy Men, page 196:


For Andrei, writing an icon was a spiritual exercise. It involved the ritual of preparing the surface, applying the painted and precious metal background and then creating the image, first outlining it in red. Throughout he would repeatedly say the “Jesus Prayer” (“Lord Jesus, Son of God, have mercy on me”). He was creating a window into the Divine which he knew was always before him but which was invisible to the human eye. He knew he was able to create such an image of God because he himself was made in the image of God. His object was to be totally focused on receiving God’s love and  loving in return.


In 2010, I decided I needed an icon for my prayer corner in my house, so I turned to a modern iconographer, Luiz Coelho, to make that happen.  What I had discovered by pondering many famous icons, including those of Rublev, was that sometimes the iconographer hooked the viewer to the icon via renditions of cities or places at the time the icon would have been written--creating a ladder between antiquity and the present.  I was stunned that Luiz was able to do this by means of my Facebook photos, linking Mary as Theotokos, and the image of the young Christ as teacher, with iconic renditions of vast pasture, my church, and my red pickup truck drawing nearer to Mary and Christ on a ribbon of U.S. Highway 63.


What I've come to realize via using this icon as a window into the Divine, is that icons demand of us the same painstaking process Rublev used to create his icons.  First, we are asked to strip ourselves to our barest wood and to imagine ourselves in divine terms--to imagine God's view of us as part of God's good creation, and to allow God the Iconographer create that image in the setting of a discipline of regular prayer.  The hardest part, however, is to allow that image to be viewed by others, and to trust that they will see what they need to see when they view us.  When we are icons of the Body of Christ, we aren't allowed the luxury of projecting what we wish others to see--it requires being comfortable enough to trust that the scratches and misplaced brush strokes are part and parcel of this divine icon.  We don't get to force the image we wish, upon the hearts and minds of others.  Instead, we are invited to trust that the image is a sufficient window, and allow others to make their own choices about that window.


What is God telling you, when you feel brave enough to pray through the holy icon of you, as God sees you in Divine Creation?


(Photo of Penn State's Joe Paterno and Temple coach Wayne Hardin, 1988, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.)

(Originally written for Daily Episcopalian, January 27, 2012) 


O God, the creator and preserver of all mankind, we humbly

beseech thee for all sorts and conditions of men; that thou

wouldest be pleased to make they ways known unto them, thy 
saving health unto all nations. More especially we pray for

thy holy Church universal; that it may be so guided and

governed by thy good Spirit, that all who profess and call

themselves Christians may be led into the way of truth, and

hold the faith in unity of spirit, in the bond of peace, and in

righteousness of life. Finally, we commend to thy fatherly

goodness all those who are in any ways afflicted or distressed,

in mind, body, or estate; [especially those for whom our prayers

are desired]; that it may please thee to comfort and relieve

them according to their several necessities, giving them patience

under their sufferings, and a happy issue out of all their

afflictions. And this we beg for Jesus Christ's sake. Amen.


--Prayer for All Sorts of Conditions of Men, Book of Common Prayer, pp. 814-815


Truthfully, I've tried to emotionally distance myself from the whole "Penn State thing" as much as possible.  Everyone who knows me, knows I am a huge sports fan, especially when it comes to my St. Louis Cardinals and my Mizzou Tigers.  But mostly, I suspect the world of Division I college sports is a lot like politics, the institutional church, and sausage--one shouldn't really watch any of them being made if one wants to enjoy them.  But the recent illness and death of Penn State Coach Joe Paterno in the past few weeks reminded me of how convoluted and sticky the business of contrition can be.



"Contrition" is one of those words I tend to lump in with words I think of as "Roman Catholic" words.  My best friends growing up, who attended Catholic parochial schools, used the word far more than I did.  It's a word that isn't so out in the forefront of our Anglican sensibilities, although it's certainly in the Book of Common Prayer, particularly referring to the Reconciliation of a Penitent.


I've really stayed away from having opinions about the Sandusky story at Penn State, and have been content to let the legalities of this story play out, and to simply pray for "healing of all involved."  The above prayer, despite its non-gender inclusive old school Prayer Book language, is very rich in that regard--when I know wrongs have been committed, evil has been done, and I can't even begin to imagine what was going on in the minds of everyone involved.  It is hard for me to think beyond the pain of victims, and this prayer snaps me back to a fuller understanding of the things that happen in the world that are just plain wicked.


My confession is it was easy for me to throw a rock at Paterno when this broke--so I stayed as emotionally far from it as I could.  After all, I usually view legendary powerhouse teams with a certain amount of disdain.  To me, the latter part of Paterno's career was more about Paterno the Legend than it was about anything human about him.  I probably thought of him more or less as an "auto-icon" of himself, in the vein of Jeremy Bentham--really dead, mounted and stuffed like Trigger, in the museum of Happy Valley.  I am normally not a judgmental person--in some ways astoundingly non-judgmental considering I make a living judging things to be "benign" or "malignant"--but I knew to enter too far into this story created emotions in me I did not want to approach.


So I was surprised at how I felt the pathos and the discomfort of Paterno's final interview with the Washington Post.  It was clear that this scandal had an effect on him.  It was clear that we were viewing a man who knew his last days on earth were imminent, but it was too easy just to brush this off as a person cutting some deals his his last days.  The public nature of this last interview, frankly, made me uncomfortable--probably because I got more glimpse than I needed of someone else's private demons.  It felt like an over-share of grand proportions, and I found myself wanting to turn the volume down on the audio and look away from my computer screen.  I found myself wondering why he chose this public route to find his private contrition, when I knew it would do nothing to assuage the hurt and anger of many, or even change their minds about the complexity of this one iota.


But as I've contemplated this piece of the story, I've come to realize that it is part of why our Prayer Book has "A Prayer for All Sorts of Conditions of Men," and the various prayers that lead our community to pray for those people and situations and conditions that our raw pain and blind anger sever any means for us to see a picture beyond the auto-icons of our own egos.  It's also why we have the Reconciliation of a Penitent--to provide a means to humanize what our nature is to dehumanize, to add a sacramental layer to transform attrition (shame and guilt arising from fear of punishment) to contrition (from the Latin conterere, literally "to grind or to rub.")


In short, contrition is a process of being ground down, and the reason we find ourselves averting our eyes at the sight of the discomfort of others, I believe, is the memory of the times we've been ground down, even if the event in question is nothing we've ever personally experienced.  In short, when we pray for all sorts of conditions of humanity, we are praying for ourselves, because we feel the chafe, all the same.

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I'm an area resident of that quirky and wonderful place called Kirksville, MO with absolutely no plans to leave.

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