(Lithograph of the 1883 eruption and explosion of Krakatoa (now Krakatau,), courtesy of Wikimedia Commons)
About a month ago, I had posted about my ongoing relationship with anger. This month, I'm dealing with anger's cousin--impatience. Of course, leave it to Advent--the season of expectant waiting--to have something in me bubble up and bother me. The worst part about it is, when Impatience pays me a visit, she often starts by reminding me--even congratulating me--for how long I have been patient. Then she starts using phrases like, "codependent," "chump," and "doormat."
I have been known to really rail at God after one of my visits from Impatience, "You know, God, I've been doing ok with this thing here, but are you like, really getting that I'm truly impatient about this situation that's been bugging me? I really have been patient--patient for longer than I'm usually able. I've been pretty good with it. But how much more of this can I take? I have not blown a gasket. Not yet, anyway. But you're pushing it, here. You're not answering. This is NOT FAIR."
I was recently expressing my impatience over this situation that is bugging me to my blog friend Elizabeth. What started as a vent ended up with her saying that she saw some form of liturgical parody in me brewing, and I had to laugh, because she had seen right through me.
She's right--one of the things I have started to do with Impatience is turn the tables on her. Make fun of her. Try to simply wave at her, make fun of myself, and move on.
Many of you who read my blog know I often express sentiments by re-writing bits of the Book of Common Prayer, the Psalter, and various canticles. I learned a long time ago that parody is the great equalizer.
So without further ado, I give you...
The Song of Impatience (with apologies to Psalm 13)
How long, O LORD?
will you forget me for ever? *
how long will you hide your face from me?
How long shall I have impatience in my mind,
and irritation in my heart, day after day? *
how long shall my impatience triumph over me?
Look upon me and answer me, O LORD my God (right now, if possible;) *
dampen the fire in my eyes, lest I spontaneously combust;
Lest my irritation say, "I have prevailed over you," *
and my temper rejoices that I have fallen.
But I put my trust in your mercy (reluctantly;) *
my heart is joyful because of your saving help.
I will sing to the LORD (rather grumpily at first), for he has dealt with me richly; *
I will praise the Name of the Lord Most High--
But I am singing, "Lord, give me patience*,
and give it to me now. right now, right now, right now."