Kirkepiscatoid

This week’s episode of "Trinity: The Sitcom": Everyone’s sick!

The vicar gets sick Wed. It is probably the crud that half of Kirksville has. You wake up sniffling one morning and by nightfall, you think you’re going to die. Of course he is exceptionally paranoid b/c of the pneumonia he had in Nov. So I was checking up on him and playing doctor a little bit and had to convince him he was only sick enough to see his “real” doctor in the morning, not go to the ER.

So then the game plan is that our assistant priest will fill in. I am scheduled to acolyte. Then she calls me Friday and noon, and says, “Oh, crap, I’m getting sick too!” She sounds like she’s in even worse shape b/c she is coughing up bright yellow stuff like she is getting bronchitis. Also flu is going around, so it could be that. I told her to call HER doc, she might need some antibiotics. We agree not to tell the vicar just yet b/c then he’ll freak out.

Then when I swung by the vicarage after work Friday, Mike (our asst. priest's husband) calls on the phone while I’m there and I could tell by the conversation he was telling Wallace that Carrol is sick. Now I don’t know if Carrol told him to call, or Mike just ratted her out, ha ha. Well, true to form, Wallace starts stressing out and trying to figure out how to deal with this news.

So, we moved from doing a Eucharistic service to doing Morning Prayer, and Patricia (one of our congregants who is licensed to do Morning Prayer) is going to run the show, so I will be acolyte for her. I find this incredibly hilarious since all those years I was on the board at Truman, she carried the university mace and I walked behind her at Commencement, and now I will be carrying the processional cross in front of HER, so that is just too funny!

At this point, it is Saturday. I start realizing I am coughing a little more than usual...and realize that no good deed goes unpunished. My "reward" for keeping an eye on the vicar is that all the fomites and evil germs in the air at the vicarage and all over the office furniture have landed on ME. I spent all day Saturday eating handfuls of vitamin C and snorting Zicam up my nose, and taking Tylenol Cold and Sinus. Had supper with friends at their house and they are hollering I'm going to give it to THEM.

Saturday night, I pile on long underwear, sweats and extra blankets and try to sweat the evil humors away. Sunday morning comes. No luck--but I'm no worse, either. So I still managed to make it to church to acolyte. Patricia and I made a great team. So you might say the congregation managed to take control of their own worship and all's well that ends well!