Kirkepiscatoid

Yeah, I know, it sounds like the start of a golf joke, doesn't it?

But it's true. My priest and I sometimes chat about "the process" of his sermon-writing. Sometimes it is because he has writer's block, and he just wants to bounce a concept off of me. Sometimes it is in the context of just teaching each other about "our jobs." We sometimes like to talk about the little details of what each of our jobs entails...for him it is about "process" and for me it is a series of steps about how a particular surgical specimen turns into a set of microscope slides. Sometimes, I think it is just b/c we both like our jobs and it just comes out.

Well, I got to kidding around and started making "medical terms" for some of the different parts of the process just to give him a laugh, and here is what I came up with:

The process:

1. Sermonating—you’re ruminating about it.
2. Sermonizing—you’re writing about it.
3. Sermonoplasty--after you've written it, you're trimming and cutting and lifting it here and there to "make it pretty."

Then, of course, I could not have this conversation without some "pathologic sermon-writing conditions":

A. Sermonoconstipation....when you can’t think of a sermon.
B. Sermonorrhea—when you can write several.
C. Sermonoeructation—when you can burp one right up.
D. Dyssermonorrhea—when you have a great sermon in mind, but it’s the wrong text.
E. Dyssermonunea—when you write a sermon and it’s painful as hell and it’s supposed to be pleasurable.
F. Sermonograft—When you take an old sermon and take part of it and put some new stuff with it.
G. Sermonanastomosis--when you piece together two or more of your old sermons to make a new one.
H. Sermonoflatulence—When your sermon is just smelly air.

(Yeah, I had him laughing!)