Kirkepiscatoid

(Jesus Pez Dispenser courtesy of A Little Leaven)

Well, it all started from a thread at Elizabeth's place. Here's an excerpt from her post:

So, I was having this conversation with a friend who was very concerned about the finances of his church.

He was anxious about how they were going to balance the church budget. How to cut expenses? Where to begin? How do you define the 'non-essentials' in a church budget and what are they?

Turns out, that last question was a real humdinger!

He was trying to justify cutting the Outreach line item. That's the first place he turned with his red pen.

Really? I asked. You would start to balance the budget by first cutting Outreach?

Yeah, he says. You know. Like when you're on an airplane. The flight attendant always says In the event of an emergency place the oxygen mask on yourself first and then care for any dependent children or adults.

Well, I say, why not just cut the rector's position? I mean, except for Sunday and some sacramental acts and, perhaps, and a few pastoral emergencies, everything else can be done by volunteers. At the very least, you can cut his position in half and save yourself a ton of money.

Horrified, he says . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .(Are you ready for this?). . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . He says, "Whaaa? . . . Well. . . . that would be like . . . . . .

. . . (okay, here it is, swear to God this is true) . . . . . . .

. . . . . having an ice cream truck without a driver."

(A few moments of silence to let the words and images sink in).

Not "a ship without a captain."

Not, "a plane without a pilot."

Not, "a train without a conductor."

AN ICE CREAM TRUCK WITHOUT A DRIVER.

Really? I ask. Is that what you think about church and your rector?

Yes, he brightens. Of course. I go to church once a week for a spiritual treat. It picks me up. It's very important to me. It makes my whole week.

I realize that he's telling me the truth. From his heart.

I sort of stared at her post a while, and a lot of responses popped into my head...many of them with words containing 4 letters.

I had commented to her on the thread a little about my own realizations that she and her priestly peers are not simply "Eucharistic Pez Dispensers" (Hence the wonderful photo above...).

Then some other things came to mind.

Is this what people really want in their "religion?" A sweet dollop of junk food? Little pellets of Jesus candy?

It gives me those moments of "Maybe I'm all wet, here." There's a big new popular church in town that has four "campuses" (CAMPUSES? Ok, so I can be an "eternal spiritual college student?" Uh....um....). They say things on their web site like:

"We work hard at being relevant and having good bands, messages, videos, etc, but in the end, it all comes back to the simple moment that goes on between you and God, one on one."

"(We) made the decision to tighten the focus on “seekers”...to find a neutral environment that would be less intimidating. We decided to “get uncomfortable” so that others would feel “more comfortable.”

Maybe people really do want it all to be a treat. Or at least think they do.

I'm going to try to be fair here. I really do think those of us in the "liturgical tradition" don't do a really great job of seeming relevant. We do love our connection with the "ancient," and "ancient" is not cool. I am sure these more or less "non-denominational" churches have people in them who are truly spiritual people. But I also wonder how many people come in, enjoy the entertainment, and call it good for the week, with little thought the rest of the week. I wonder how many of them get "their crises solved for them" in terms of the counseling they get. I wonder how many people are begging for beef stew and realize they are being handed ice cream week after week. Most importantly, I wonder if they never disconnect "feeling close to God" with "feeling good."

I have two thoughts creeping in my brain. One is that some of the times I have actually felt closest to God emerged from my despair. The other is that in the middle of all this vocal and glitzy praise, this image of God looking down and going, "Ok, ok, so you love me...but when are y'all gonna shut up and LISTEN to me?"

It was the phrase "neutral environment" that really made me swallow hard. Neutral? What's "neutral?" ALL of the environment belongs to God. I'm assuming that they mean, "No stained glass windows, no churchy stuff, no crucifixes or crosses on the wall," stuff like that. But the "church" is not a building. It's the whole world. It's me alone in my yard with the chiminea and a fire. It's praying for those on my Facebook status updates. There IS no "neutral environment."

I have a funny prayer about this...

I pray that people tire of ice cream.

I pray that the sacraments become more than Pez to people.

But most of all, oddly enough, I pray that these big "seeker-centered, neutral environment" churches do bring in a lot of people...and that maybe that some of them, after they have an entryway to God, they come to realize of their own accord over time, with God's help, that they would like to "graduate" and leave the structured confines of their "campus" for a deeper, more inward brand of faith.

I loathe "sheep rustlers," but I have made a lifelong habit of "taking in strays." I think about my own journey that brought me to my own church. I pretty much wandered in like a stray dog, turned around three times, plopped down on the carpet, then looked up and went, "So when do we eat?" So rather than grumble at what I don't like about "church entertainment", or the whole mega-church praise thing, I think instead I will pray about the blessings of taking in strays. There are always going to be people who tire of big and glitzy, and maybe I just need to be more aware of my own skills in discerning those people, and being welcoming in an authentic way to share what has become "meat and potatoes" to me!