Kirkepiscatoid

Random and not so random musings from a 5th generation NE Missourian who became a 1st generation Episcopalian. Let the good times roll!

Ok, some while back on Padre Mickey's blog, he had the two minute Passover Haggadah. A challenge was made in the comments section for a two minute Eucharistic Prayer...so here it is!

Congregation complaining about the length of church? Try…

The Two Minute Eucharistic Prayer (with apologies to Eucharistic Prayer A in the Book of Common Prayer)

Priest: The Lord be with you.
People: And also with you.

Priest: Lift up your hearts.
People: Ok.

Priest: Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.
People: Sure thing!

Priest: It’s a good idea to do this, so with the angels and archangels and all, we say:

Everyone: Holy Holy Holy Lord,
You rock.
Heaven Rocks.
Jesus Rocks.

Priest: God, we’re a mess, but you sent us Jesus anyway, to reconcile ourselves to you. He got crucified, and it was a bum deal for him, but we’re grateful for it.

(grab bread)

Priest: On the night he was to be betrayed, he took bread and said, “Try it. You’ll like it. It’s my body. Really!”

(grab cup)

Priest: Then he took the cup and said, “Try this, too. It sounds really gross that this is my blood, but you’ll like that too, and it’ll forgive your sins and put hair on your chest.”

Priest: So, God, to that, we say:

Everyone: Christ has died.
Christ is risen.
Christ will come again.

Priest: We celebrate our redemption, God, and we’re glad to offer you these gifts as a token of our appreciation. Sanctify them, sanctify us, make this stuff work inside of us, and at the last day, we’ll figure it all out then. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

And now, we boldly say:

Everyone: Ourfatherwhoartinheavenhallowedbethyname. Thykingdomcomethywillbedoneonearthasitisinheaven.
Giveusthisdayourdailybreadandforgiveusourtrespasses,
Asweforgivethosewhotrespassagainstus.
Andleadusnotintotemptationbutdeliverusfromevil.
Forthineisthekingdomandthepowerandthegloryforeverandever.
Amen.

(break priest wafer)

Priest: Woo Hoo! Christ our Passover has been sacrificed. Let’s eat!
(omit Woo Hoo during Lent.)

Everyone: Lamb of God, you rock.

Priest: Come and get it!

(congregation comes up and gets bread and wine.)

9 comments:

Oh, oh, oh, this is just too special!

I had tears in my eyes and almost choked to death laughing so hard.

Dang, it's almost as long as the real thing on a weekday! ;-)

I think this needs to go in a liturgy class somewhere...

! ! !

We did quite similar things for Follies when I was at CDSP. Sometime I'll tell ya 'bout The Acolytes' Mass.

Great job, Kirkepiscatoid!

Ah, many thanks. (I'm particularly fond of substituting Woo Hoo for Alleluia...especially since both our priests tend to be fairly joyous and energized on Sunday!)

Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the GPS, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://gps-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug.

Hmmm... maybe joining TEC has just grown more appealing.

Jesus Rocks.
Heaven Rocks.



You Rock too!

I'd like to see the Star Wars Eucharistic prayer in brief as well, please.

Well, you know, when I threw this together, it was a tossup between the "standard one that everyone does most of the time" (EP-A) and the Star Wars one (EP-C). But first chance I get to sit down and be with my own thoughts for a spell, I'll get 'er done!

I love the Star Wars EPrayer...

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Kirksville, Missouri, United States
I'm a longtime area resident of that quirky and wonderful place called Kirksville, MO and am wondering what God has hiding round the next corner in my life.

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