Kirkepiscatoid

Dear Señorita Chompita Wiggletail of Padre Mickey's blog, I'm Little Eddie. I live over at Kirkepiscatoid's house. As you can see, I haf a sad wook on my face. Datz b/c you are da woooman of my dreams and you live halfway across the world. You look a lot like the late Mr. Woo Dog looked in the face, and he was my best friend.

I don't have a looong Wiggletail like you but it is stubbly and waggly and it wags for you, Señorita Chompita Wiggletail. I am todo hombre even though I am proabably smaller than you. (Well, almost todo. Kirk took me for that little operashun.)

Oh, DAT. Dat is Mr. Boomer. Don't pay any attenshun to the sad look on Boomie's face. He is trying to play up to you b/c he knows I am in wuvvvv! He is trying to make me be the big eyed jealousy monster. He does not know how to wuvvvv a woooooman as fine as you, Señorita Chompita Wiggletail. He had his operashun way younger than I did!
But oh, Señorita Chompita Wiggletail, if you would only notice me, even though we are half a world away, I would wuuuvvvvvv you like no other dog could! I cudz be happy like dis!