Kirkepiscatoid

Hola, mi novia Señorita Chompita Wiggletail! Did you and Padre and the lovely Mona stay up late and watch the ewections? Kirk and Boomie and I did. Kirk says dat different days are coming for little black dogs, dat maybe the economy will be like when Bill Clinton was pwesident again someday.

I don' no nuffin bout Bill Clinton 'cept what da late Mr. Willis Woo used to tell me. Teh only pwesident I ever knew in my whole life was George Bush. Mr. Willis Woo used to remember when Bill Clinton was the pwesident. He used to tell me....

"Little Eddie, when Bill Clinton was pwesident, all da dogs had bones. Da big dogs had bones and da little dogs had bones, and maybe all da dogs didn't awways have the same amount of bones but we all had bones. Den George bush came along and took all the bones and gave most of them to his big dog friens. Den once in a while he threw the little black dogs a bone, but it wasn't haf as big as the bones he took away from them. He threw them the bones with lotsa hoopla and said, "See! I'm givin' you back YOUR bones so you can do wif YOUR bones what you want." But most of da dogs did not remember what their old bones looked like, so a bone haf as big looked like a big bone to dem. Only the old dogs like Mr. Willis Woo looked at da bones and said, "Oh, bullshit. Dese bones ain't nuffin compared to da bones I used to get. You skwewed us outa our bones, you liar." Den sometimes he gave out dog food as an economic stim-yew-us, but when you eated da food, you could tell it not good dog food like Hy-Vee Hi Protein dog food, it one of dem dog foods all puffed up wif air like a Wice Kwispy. He lied to all da dogs, Little Eddie, but you too little to know it. You don' no nuffin else."

So Señorita Chompita Wiggletail, I hear you an' me, we gettin' better bones now. Whatchoo think about dat?

Kirk was only ok wif all da ewections. We were all glad our fren Rebecca McClanahan got back in da state house, we like having Obama, we got a donkey governor (his name is Jay Nixon), but we are still stuck wif a eddafant in our congresscritter seat--just a different eddafant. But we are glad about da Obama winning. McCain sounded just like George Bush to me, so maybe he would have kept all da bones like Woo used to say George Bush did. Dat Palin woman, she make a big deal 'bout shootin' a moose. I say big deal. A moose just look like a big ol' cow to me but wif funny horns. Kirk bewong to da Mooses here in Kirksville. Da mooses in Kirksville, dey run Bingo on Friday nights and haf steaks at da Moose lodge on Saturday nights. But I don' think dere are no real mooses dere. Dey some kind of pretend mooses. But back to da real mooses. Kirk sez ain't no big deal to shoot a cow size cwitter. Bet Sarah Palin never shot a possum! Possums is smaller and dey harder to shoot cuz dey are sneaky and crawl in our dwainpipe under da dwiveway!

I made a possum play possum once. I barked and barked and barked and it pwetended it dead. But dat another story.

Anyway, my sweet Señorita Chompita Wiggletail, Kirk says I gotta get off da computer cuz I spell funny and take too long to type. So let me know how you liked da ewections, ok?

Your boyfren,

Little Eddie