Kirkepiscatoid

Random and not so random musings from a 5th generation NE Missourian who became a 1st generation Episcopalian. Let the good times roll!


Hola, mi novia Señorita Chompita Wiggletail! Did you and Padre and the lovely Mona stay up late and watch the ewections? Kirk and Boomie and I did. Kirk says dat different days are coming for little black dogs, dat maybe the economy will be like when Bill Clinton was pwesident again someday.

I don' no nuffin bout Bill Clinton 'cept what da late Mr. Willis Woo used to tell me. Teh only pwesident I ever knew in my whole life was George Bush. Mr. Willis Woo used to remember when Bill Clinton was the pwesident. He used to tell me....

"Little Eddie, when Bill Clinton was pwesident, all da dogs had bones. Da big dogs had bones and da little dogs had bones, and maybe all da dogs didn't awways have the same amount of bones but we all had bones. Den George bush came along and took all the bones and gave most of them to his big dog friens. Den once in a while he threw the little black dogs a bone, but it wasn't haf as big as the bones he took away from them. He threw them the bones with lotsa hoopla and said, "See! I'm givin' you back YOUR bones so you can do wif YOUR bones what you want." But most of da dogs did not remember what their old bones looked like, so a bone haf as big looked like a big bone to dem. Only the old dogs like Mr. Willis Woo looked at da bones and said, "Oh, bullshit. Dese bones ain't nuffin compared to da bones I used to get. You skwewed us outa our bones, you liar." Den sometimes he gave out dog food as an economic stim-yew-us, but when you eated da food, you could tell it not good dog food like Hy-Vee Hi Protein dog food, it one of dem dog foods all puffed up wif air like a Wice Kwispy. He lied to all da dogs, Little Eddie, but you too little to know it. You don' no nuffin else."

So Señorita Chompita Wiggletail, I hear you an' me, we gettin' better bones now. Whatchoo think about dat?

Kirk was only ok wif all da ewections. We were all glad our fren Rebecca McClanahan got back in da state house, we like having Obama, we got a donkey governor (his name is Jay Nixon), but we are still stuck wif a eddafant in our congresscritter seat--just a different eddafant. But we are glad about da Obama winning. McCain sounded just like George Bush to me, so maybe he would have kept all da bones like Woo used to say George Bush did. Dat Palin woman, she make a big deal 'bout shootin' a moose. I say big deal. A moose just look like a big ol' cow to me but wif funny horns. Kirk bewong to da Mooses here in Kirksville. Da mooses in Kirksville, dey run Bingo on Friday nights and haf steaks at da Moose lodge on Saturday nights. But I don' think dere are no real mooses dere. Dey some kind of pretend mooses. But back to da real mooses. Kirk sez ain't no big deal to shoot a cow size cwitter. Bet Sarah Palin never shot a possum! Possums is smaller and dey harder to shoot cuz dey are sneaky and crawl in our dwainpipe under da dwiveway!

I made a possum play possum once. I barked and barked and barked and it pwetended it dead. But dat another story.

Anyway, my sweet Señorita Chompita Wiggletail, Kirk says I gotta get off da computer cuz I spell funny and take too long to type. So let me know how you liked da ewections, ok?

Your boyfren,

Little Eddie

8 comments:

Señorita Chompita Wiggletail asked Padre Mickey to write the following:

Estimado Little Eddie, mi amor; yo soy Panameña, entonces, our new president will be elected next year, but mommydaddy son estadoünidense, so they stayed up late watching the computer and making loud noises. I came out at about medianoche to see what they were up to and they were very happy 'bout dis Obama fella, who dey bin talkin' 'bout for ages. Hey wuz talkin' and dey wuz cryin but happy lagrimas. Padre said eveytin' gonna be better now 'less dem honkies do sumpin' stupid.
All de doggies should get bones, because we are all good doggies.
I luf you.
Yer sweetie,
Chompita

Little Eddie,

Did you hear dat de Obama prezidunt iz gonna bring a puppy into teh white houze for his little grils? I sez that proves he iz a good prezidunt.

Smokey

Smokey an Roof:

I heered about da puppy. I think da Obama pwezident ought to invite us over to show da Obama puppy how to do entertainin' things like take dirty undies out of da dirty clothes basket and put dem in da Winkin Bedroom. You know, important stuff like dat.

'less dem honkies do sumpin' stupid.

That may be the funniest line of the election Season...Fido Gonzalez is thrilled that Senora Palin stuck her tail between them leggens of herns and scappered back to the big igloo up norte!

Yeah, she can go play wif da mooses. It will be just a few more days and George Bush can go back to Tejas, too, and read "My Pet Goat" to da moocows.

LOL!

Gracie the dog says...

Little Eddie!!!! HI hi hi hi!!!! Can I haz be ur frend? Can I haz be ur gurlfrend if Chompita sez no to ur luvz?

I iz pretty happy and haz a big happy becuz is great to haz a new prez.

Hi, Gracie! I will be your fren, but you need to know dat I LUVZ my sweet Chompita and she luvz me. And she is Panameña, and I hear doze Latina gurlz can be vewwwwy jealous, so you better be frenz wif Chompita too, so I won't be in twuble. But I haf gurlz who are frens but not gurlfrenz, like Miss Shadow and Miss Zera Ruth. For some reason, people gurlz like me too, dey tell me I am cuddly.

I iz glad you haz a happy about de Obama too!

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Kirksville, Missouri, United States
I'm a longtime area resident of that quirky and wonderful place called Kirksville, MO and am wondering what God has hiding round the next corner in my life.

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