Kirkepiscatoid

...from our friend Counterlight...

I just have one thing to say, and a request...

My thing to say:

If this is the rapture, well, I'll just stay home, thank you.

My request:

I am now regretting more than ever my lost opportunity in 1982. In 1982, I was in a truck stop in Memphis, TN. I missed my chance to have the best piece of "bad religious art" I could ever have, because I am a cheap-ass.

I saw a truck stop painting (black velvet, of course) that could only be titled "The Ascension of Elvis." It had Elvis (young Elvis, of course, in a white outfit) climbing a golden stairway to heaven with musical notes trailing behind him and Jesus beckoning him at the top. On a cloud on the top left was his mother. On a cloud on the top right was Hank Williams.

The picture captivated me for its utter trailer court tackiness. But I saw the price tag, and it was $40 in 1982. Well, here's my offer....

Using the calculator from this site, $40.00 in 1982, if you followed the consumer price index, is worth $85.94 now. I have a 49th birthday coming up March 27, 2009. I would pay $85.94 for someone to paint me "The Ascension of Elvis." It doesn't even have to be on black velvet. I want to atone for my cheap behavior in failing to recognize the value of this bad religious art masterpiece. Help me!