Kirkepiscatoid

In my journey backwards through the Psalms, I am getting down to the wire here, am at Psalm 11. Verse 3 is kind of thought provoking in that regard: “When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?”

Simply “not feeling well” can certainly erode on our foundations, can’t it? That’s true with physical or emotional pain or situational anxieties or anything like that.

Being distressed can do it too. Or even good things can do it. We might start getting a little “heady” about our blessings and a little of “But it IS about me” creeps in and erodes at us.

You know, merely being disciplined about faith, whether it is prayer, or study, or just dedicated time for reflecting, is in the world's eyes, kind of counterproductive. That is a lot of swimming upstream every day of our lives. That can wear on our foundations. Being a person of faith can be downright freeing and exhilarating at times...but it also comes with the realization to be that person, you have to swim upstream every day, and some days it’s tiring.

So...it’s back to “What can the righteous do?” It’s like a question I posed to a friend when we were grumping about feeling "different than everyone else", ”When you are a 'different' kind of person, how do you love fully and also experience the fullness of love with a different gold standard than the bulk of the world?”

When the world has a different gold standard for “success,” for “love,” for “happiness,” than we do, the sheer tidal force of our culture laps at the foundations of us. We can be doing nothing but living the way we have chosen to live, and it will still wear on us, just as waves lap against a pier constantly.

So how do we deal with this constant pressure of entropy?

Honestly, I am not totally sure, but I do think it means we have to be continuously mindful of what our foundations are made of, and that much of our foundation is NOT “us” but something bigger than us. To stay connected with God in a “foundational” way. This is part of why I am mad the evangelicals have co-opted the word “fundamental.” “Fundamental” is not being forced to accept a certain attitude about the Bible and salvation that a particular set of people believe. “Fundamental” to me is to continue to seek God’s instruction in a disciplined way...to regularly pray, read, study, reflect, and LISTEN. Part of it for me is learning to be ok that I cannot possibly see all the answers, to accept some degree of ambiguity. Part of it for me is to accept that God made me who I am for a reason, that the fundamental parts of my psyche are basically good things, but that these good things can come out sideways and backwards when things lap at my foundations.

I spent a lot of years ignoring my foundations, or even seeing them as hindrances to “true happiness.” Only in recent years have I been attending to these neglected foundations. Yeah, it’s hard, but what I am discovering is the “good” things in my life are becoming stronger and deeper and more alive.

So perhaps the answer to “what can the righteous do?” is to persevere with their own foundations by continuing to engage in the disciplines of their faith, not necessarily b/c it will give answers, but in that the SEEKING these things brings hope and meaning to us in a world that runs counter to us.