Kirkepiscatoid

I spent a little of my contemplative time thinking about the Nativity--not "Christmas Stamp Nativity" but the real deal. I tried to put myself in the minds of both Mary and Joseph, and a lot of very raw and real things came to mind.

Luke gives us a much more detailed look at Mary’s side of the tale than Matthew does of Joseph's, so honestly, a lot of my musings are more speculation than anything. In typical “Kirksville gossip” fashion, you know there were old biddies in town who were counting the months from when it was obvious Mary was showing and when the wedding date was...although back then, I don’t think they made as big a deal of that back then b/c “engaged was as good as married” even though it was not “official”. It is interesting that the Torah does NOT prohibit consensual premarital sex; you just can’t marry off your daughters as “pure” if they’re not.

Where the big deal was involved was PRICE. Obviously, “pure” was not worth as much as “used.” What would be fun to know is whether there was any consideration by Joseph to request a partial refund from the in-laws on the price! If he didn’t, I’m sure the old biddies had fun with that. “Joseph—what a dweeb! You know she was pregnant before the wedding and Joseph swears he didn’t know her. He could have had her for a LOT less bride price. For that matter, most people would have just had her stoned and gotten on with finding another one.” But then again, maybe Joseph just kept mum, and people figured it was his.

But the fact remains, Joseph stuck with her and must have believed that what the angel told him in the dream was true, or else he was so hot for her he didn’t care if it wasn’t. But he must not have been THAT hot for her or else he wouldn't have toyed with the idea of "dismissing her quietly."

I know Luke says Mary popped up with the Magnificat after she heard the news, but I have a feeling they left out her most initial thoughts about the whole thing, and the Magnificat came later (if it wasn't just Luke's invention.)

Also, when Joseph found out Mary was pregnant, I would imagine he was pretty put out about it. I wonder if he had already been to the in-laws...or maybe the in-laws went to him, b/c Mary was running around telling about how she was pregnant with the a child brought by the Holy Spirit to her relatives, and they figured they could get stoned for getting a price for “pure goods” rather than “used goods.” (If everyone had stuck to their guns about the law, there would have been a big "stone-a-rama" for the entertainment of the Nazareth townies, better than the Romans bringing the circus to town.)

It had to be a weird time between the two households, and be incredibly stressful for EVERYONE involved. Oddly enough, I identify more with the stress than the joy, leading up to this birth. I mean, here’s a girl. She's young. She's being told she's pregnant by the Holy Spirit and she's saying, "DUH! If you knew anything, Mr. Angel Gabriel, you'd know I'm a virgin. Helloooo!"

Here's a guy. He agreed to marry a virgin. She wants to have kids by HIM, he wants to have kids by HER. So what happens right off? She’s pregnant and he’s not the father. In the beginning before the dream, he had to have doubted her. This is NOT a good way to start a marriage. They both had to have their own ideas of what the early days of their um, “wedded bliss” was going to be like, and this was NOT it!

Then on top of that, they have to travel to Bethlehem when Mary is "pregnant out to HERE," as we say in these parts. They have to be thinking, “Oh, man, I hope I/she don’t/doesn’t go into labor on this trip.” It’s Mary’s first pregnancy. Everyone stresses about their first pregnancy. First pregnancies take longer in labor; their cervix dilates to 3 cm and just stays there for what seems like forever. Not to mention they might have gotten lucky in Bethlehem and only pay tax on a family of 2 if she hadn’t popped yet, but if she delivers the census taker is definitely going to say “family of three!” More taxes for Rome! That would have to bite, too.

I always figure her water broke somewhere before they got to Bethlehem, being bounced around on a donkey, ha ha. Then the stress really starts. Are they going to have to deliver by the side of the road, get mugged, get their donkey stolen? They make it to town, but they can’t find a place to stay. The contractions are starting to shorten. They get to stay in a cow shed. Again, this can’t be good. Joseph feels like a failure b/c he couldn’t do any better for her. Mary can’t be pleased. But they know beggars can’t be choosers. Did anyone help them deliver this baby? Or did Joseph and Mary pretty much have to guts-ball it on their own? Fathers to be, at times, can be either incredibly insensitive, or incredibly wussy when the screaming and the blood starts. This had to be incredibly, incredibly stressful...and lonely...and even afterwards, very scary.

In other words, I think once the pains became five minutes apart, all the shiny la la Holy Spirit stuff went right out the window! I mean, you know, Mary was probably like 14. Fourteen year old girls in labor do NOT labor um, “like women”. They labor like “scared little girls” because in so many ways, they still ARE little girls. (I still vividly remember this one little gal; she was about 14 or 15, who got so scared she yanked her feet out of the stirrups, rolled over in bed, got on all fours like a dog and screamed, “OHGODOHGODOHGODOHJESUS! TAKE IT OUT! TAKE IT OUT!”--and I am thinking, “It doesn’t say in Williams’ Obstetrics what to do when THIS happens”--and thinking, “Honey, if you had only said that nine months ago, we would both not be in here in this mess!” and the nurse looking at me like this is somehow all MY fault.) I don’t care how mature they are. Really, it’s not fair to Mary, to make her into Wonder Woman. She’s human.

Well, and you know, maybe that is why I identify with the humanity of the Nativity—the stress, the uncertainty, the fear—more than I do the whole iconic Nativity scene. In fact, I probably NEED to identify with it; otherwise, the Nativity is not “real” to me. It becomes plastic lighted Holy Family on the church lawn stuff. I need to think about the fact there was tension in the air, blood on the ground, and a placenta afterwards. Otherwise, Jesus himself is not real. How can he be “fully human” if he was not born into the tension of what was really happening—a young teenaged girl giving birth in less than ideal circumstances to a couple who is unsure about it all; not just unsure about the birth itself but what this birth is going to mean in their lives. The only part they are sure about is that this is something God's told them to do. This is as real as it gets—and humanity deserves no less.