Kirkepiscatoid

The readings discuss the idea of the purpose of religion being to allow us to step off into the "uncharted emptiness of spiritual life, freely but not untethered." It also talks about it being "the plight of the mystic to enter the universe of God where no charts or maps are there to guide us and assure us of the way."

Here are the reflection questions:

1. How has your relationship to religion changed over the years? Do you feel called beyond formal religion to "the very source of light?" If so, how have you experienced that call?

The big thing where my relationship changed is going in adulthood from "solo Christianity" to "community Christianity." I think maybe as a small child I felt that community, but things and people and politics got in my way as a young adult that fueled my cynicism and caused me to "go it alone for 20some years. I do feel called beyond formal religion to "the very source of light," and at times I am rather amazed that I feel that way! In some ways it is "so unlike me" on the surface. But I have experienced that call in a variety of ways--in working on physical projects at church, in the time in the sacred spot in my yard, out on walks, and in the eyes of friends to whom I'm spiritually connected.

2. Reflect on how your religious tradition positively formed you. What spiritual disciplines have shaped your soul?

I think being exposed to a liturgical tradition early on was very important to what lay ahead on my journey. I don't think I could have spent all those years alone and remained a Christian in my head without the sense that there was something bigger than me binding me to it, even if I were not participating in it. Also, although I have a lot of regrets about those years alone, and sometimes feel very upset with myself, wondering why I "wasted all these years" doing lone wolf Christianity, I also realize that those years alone taught me the need for honest self-reflection (sometimes painful) and for real study and reflection in God's word--when I didn't have the sacrament every week, all I had was the word. I think being alone all those years with my faith taught me to be authentic with my questioning and study, and to be thankful for the grace tied up in all of it!

3. Meditate on what Joan Chittister calls "the plight of the mystic". Have you been touched by this mystical call? If so, write about the experience.

Yes, and at times it is incredibly scary! That business of "uncharted emptiness" is so accurate. It is mystical to me that the source of light lies in the middle of a wasteland. I am bewildered at times that my allure for discovering this light is so strong, when my whole working world is about facts and proof to a level that minimizes being wrong, and avoiding mistakes. I realize I was drawn to a "factual" vocation because I don't like feeling insecure any more than I have to, having grown up feeling constantly insecure. I am so grounded in "just the facts, ma'am" that for me to even take this journey is amazing. Three years ago I would have laughed at anyone telling me I was going to take this journey.

I am incredibly lucky and incredibly grateful to have someone in my life who has encouraged me and hung with me on this journey. He has been great at providing "what's needed at the moment". I don't think in the beginning, even he could imagine me taking this journey. He is further on the learning curve than me in his own journey and it has been more help than anyone can imagine. He seems to know just when to share his own journey, just when to kick me in the butt and say "Go explore this on your own; it'll be ok," just when to take three steps further out and cajole me to it, and just when to sit still and let me know I'm not alone. This is especially cool when you realize each of us who goes on this journey has a different path to the same destination...for anyone to be any help at all is, again, amazing!

I am soooo barely into this journey I really don't know what the effect of it has been so far...but maybe over time I will know...